Today I seek the counsel of men.
I turn 23 tomorrow. Hurray!!! But
I don’t intend to throw a party or go out get drunk and pass out in a ditch.
That is not my style.  I have come to
enjoy my own company over the years. I like to take this time to reflect and
look back on the past year and try to remain as objective as possible. Every
girl has 99 problems and every one of them is a man or at least should be a man
at this age! I am not about to become that ranting raving woman with a feminist
placard cursing men and advocating for their castration. NO we are having a
conversation. (*cocks gun)
To say that understanding women
is difficult is an understatement. Understanding the 21st Century
man is the real task. (The following facts are drawn from several real life
events…too many if you ask me) You meet a guy, in the matatu or at a party
wherever he’s kinda good looking and you maybe want to keep talking to him see
where it goes so you exchange contacts. I mean you have been single a while now
and a little mingling is way overdue. One Whatsapp chat after the other and
soon the two of you are thick as thieves and you cannot go a day without
telling him how your day went. After weeks and weeks of asking you finally
agree to a date, something chill not too fancy because all that matters really
is that you get to spend time with him. You meet up and he is still good
looking, still makes you want to smile to yourself and you have already chosen
your wedding gown and named your 2.5 children. Things begin to get more serious
all your girlfriends are in on your little romance. Things could not get any
more perfect six months down the line I mean it is a done deal! You have
stopped all other flirtations with any other men and you are settled in. You
are in love!
“Bae…How are you today?”…. *blue
ticks no reply
“Are you okay?” *blue ticks no
reply… Online
“Talk to me. Did I do anything
wrong?” Still online
Five missed calls later you
decide to let him be. Maybe he is going through something and men have a hard
time opening up.
Three weeks later still no word.
Ten weeks later. Nothing! Three months and he still occasionally crosses your
So at this point all your girlfriends
have been consulted. The best friend has been sought and questioned. Nothing
makes sense and we do what we know best CRY. We grieve and blame ourselves.
Pick apart our character and scrutinize what we did wrong. Go through the
entire chat history, all our dates and it just doesn’t add up. So we soldier
on, resolve to move on without closure.
Only when people die should we be
left without closure. So much is left unsaid, too many unanswered questions.
Few regrets and more emotional torture than you would wish on your worst enemy.
This all goes great until nine months later from absolutely nowhere and with no
“Hey *insert emoji”
You stare at your phone not sure
whether to be mad at him or that you are secretly singing Hallelujah in your
Men please help me understand
where you have been for all those months. Do you suffer selective amnesia? Have
you been walking around aware that you have someone’s heart in your back
pocket! For older generation women and particularly Caroline Mutoko (and we
should all subscribe to her YouTube channel) help your Generation Y sisters understand
what is going on.
I have not left you hanging of
course I will come back with more on this riveting tale in a day or two I will
leave this little scenario here to stew…
Tell me I have told your