The trouble with trying to date today is social media. Fullstop.

Of course there is a myriad of other factors that come into play but technology and the growth of social media have drastically changed the game.

We have gone from naive teenage girls tracing maps of Africa on the ground with their feet to Snapchatting that p*#y to every Rich Homie Quan that asks for it.

Where does your mother even begin with you! Back in the day girls were extremely shy when it came to men and advise like look him in the eye so he doesn’t try to take advantage of you worked.

It worked so well we are now empowered enough to be forward with men. So forward that we there are basically no boundaries left virtually and falling into sexting is as easy as giving hugs.

I am extremely overjoyed for my peers who are getting married in hoards. You lot should be grateful you snatched up one. The rest of us are left to clutch at anyone decent enough to not have fallen into the perils of Generation Y.

You see dating like every other aspect of our lives has become digital. I type more words per second on whichever App I use than I speak to actual people.

The world wide web is my playground seeing as the world has literally shrunk into a virtual ball gum (Americans call it gum ball!).

WhatsApp has made us so comfortable with each other we reveal too much about ourselves too soon and fall in love with virtual personalities put up by someone you can barely confirm exists.

It is easy to spend the whole day with someone virtually than hold a conversation in person. You know everything there is to know about them because their profile is laid out on Facebook and there is nothing more left to ask them.

If you could sit across from each other at a restaurant and type your feelings the date would go smoother than when you actually looked up into each others eyes.

After all you have probably already gone the whole way on WhatsApp visuals included and frankly now that you are facing the person you feel slightly embarrassed of some things you wrote you would do to them.

Men have forgotten to respect ladies they ask for nudes in the same manner they would ask for a glass of water. Baby mamas and side dishes are the norm you just need to get with the program.

Fewer men are picking up their phones to actually call that special girl to ask how her day was or just to wish her goodnight. If he does its probably a WhatApp call which is free if he’s on WiFi at his sister’s friend’s house.

Remember when you fell in love each morning after speaking all night on the phone about anything and everything only realize it was morning when that first cock crowed and you looked outside only to be met by first light?

Do we still ask people to the movies so we can hold their hand in the dark? Or is that backward and we actually kiss on the first date? Is it wrong to kiss on the first date, maybe now we actually go the whole way, where do we draw the line?

Are our men so cheap that Netflix & Chill is the only type of date they know of. Have they become so callous nobody is about to invest time in getting to know their date before attempting to bed them.

Why ladies do we let them get away with all these anyway? All it takes to hold a conversation is a MEME and an emoji. I want my brain to be stimulated not pelted with mindless funny videos which despite being entertaining add no value to conversation.

Did they stop manufacturing sapio-sexual individuals (look it up) or have we surrendered our brains to our smartphones and let them do the thinking for us (I am a victim).

Do we no longer read books? And do all our causes begin on blogs and end on Mpesa. Is there nothing we can debate with our partners or do we agree on all things? When was the last time you picked up an actual book, go on ask him/her?

Heels are worn to the club more than dinner because we go out for more drinks than actual get to know me dates. Personally I love long romantic walks and a chill day at Central Park, extra points if you buy me mutura, mahindi choma or tamutamu.

Love was way simpler when you had to wait a two weeks to receive a letter. So much time and heart was poured into that one message. Your love was really the love of your life not one of six people currently Typing…

The best part about relationships, you did not have to guess whether or not you were in one. It was asked expressly by the man from the beginning and the intention to embark on an adventure of love just the two of you exclusively was clear.

Dating was easier when people actually waited. Waited weeks for that letter, waited months for the perfect date, waited years for a partner to pursue their studies and waited decades to make your first 100K, money not followers.

I don’t expect us to move backwards but before your next first date, maybe don’t chat him up as much on WhatsApp. You don’t want your private conversations trending on Twitter.

Don’t find out from his Facebook all the destinations he has traveled to and deprive yourself the chance to listen to a good story. There are so many activities to do before you can fall into a life of Netflix and chill.

Get to know each other before you tell each other your whole life stories. Wolf in sheep’s clothing was coined for a reason. It is easier to know see tell-tale signs and cut ties when take your time.

Men…please DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP. Spare us the heartache let us not waste each others time, if you are done ghosting is not funny. Blue ticks no reply…not in 2016!

You know what to do, comment below tell me about your experiences. Don’t forget to share, sharing is sexy and follow me on all my social media!

Don’t stop there either read some of my older posts and let know what you think about this non-fashion segment.



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  • Sylvia

    I concur with you on all points. Love in the old fashioned way is so much more special and meaningful. I think, if we chose to do it the old predefined way it would go a long way to make relationships that are more real and weighty in value.

  • Tsepo Mas

    Hey luv, Interesting topic. I think dating has evolved and gone are the days we as ladies would wait till that man approaches you. At times being proactive about searching for that perfect man is also helpful. its not easy because you do get the odd rejections here and there, but its worth it in the end. Thats a lovely pic btw. You look amazing.x

  • Rshanphonsi

    Looking goregeous!!!! Your legs are blessed. lol

  • Job Kiruhi

    Always come here to learn something new. Let me look up this “sapio-sexual individuals.”

    • grace alice Ndiege

      Lol what did you learn?

  • Supadude

    i love your work Grace , you evolve every time i read.

    • grace alice Ndiege

      Thank you

  • Wairimu Murigi

    “Men…please DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP. Spare us the heartache let us not waste each others time, if you are done ghosting is not funny. Blue ticks no reply…not in 2016!” All men need to hear this from their females mouths. Females, don’t avoid to ask because of the fear of rejection trust me, if he doesn’t have a proper definition for the relationship, you’re saving yourself a world of pain. You’d rather know that be dragged along in the mud just to come out covered in twigs and garbage rather than gold dust and diamonds. if it’s not working for you… walk away. They’re not jobs, you can get one just by walking into a puddle of dirty water on a rainy day. Thanks GA… always the thinker

    • Supadude

      and though this can be wholly debated, ladies “suffer” from the same disease. stringing the guy along like he is a texas outlaw found guilty of first degree stupidity.

      • Wairimu Murigi

        Haha you are right, any gender can fall into this pit.

  • Nature & Style Event

    Am speechless, You hit the nail!
    Anyway I think your right, am glad I started dating 5 years back. Saved me from the horific online dating scene.
    And you forgot to mention dating sites.
    Its always a pleasure reading your posts :-) great update.

    Tatiana x

    • grace alice Ndiege

      Hahaha let’s not even get on about Tinder, I just watch my friends from far. Maybe I will try it and give a review its bound to be a blast

      • Salome Tarus

        sometimes i miss the days of love letters :(

        • grace alice Ndiege

          I joined TINDER! Lol story for another day and yes I was a culprit with the love letters mine was caught in a different school and the boy caned thoroughly.